Maybe this is the biggest mistake of my life. Maybe this will change everything i had been working on and trying to build and create. Maybe i will wake up tomorrow and realize i regret every single step i took and every word i said. Maybe i will cry again like today and ask for forgiveness and maybe i won't get any. Maybe i will try to take the shackles off and scream all over again. Maybe one day i'll look at myself and reflect on a bottle of wine. And maybe one day i will look at my pages and confront myself with so much blank.
Maybe one day i'll realize i really didn't get to me and everything i insisted on was wrong. Or maybe one day i'll feel so fulfilled that i won't regret anything at all and look at every minute as self discovery and the only right thing i could have done.
I feel free. I finally feel free. But i do feel heavy inside my heart. I wish this could be easier, i wish we all could see our lives from above for one second.
I'm in the dark and i feel i will lose myself in the middle of this empty streets of choices and feelings.
I don't think i can renounce what's making me fly and breathe. Though i may cry over my mistakes some day, i know i can't give up on what's setting me free.
I'm still crying about this weakness and this lie. Because i don't know what's right and where to turn. I promessed never to feel sorry about myself but i can't keep it anymore.
I must carry on.